Bannister’s
office had changed, or more accurately his office was reflecting the changes
that had begun to show in him. His desk was still covered with a castle walls
worth of essays, but on top of one of the corner stacks sat an old faded
picture of two young men. One wearing denim overalls on top of a red shirt, the
other wearing denim overalls over a green shirt. Bannister is writing an
excessive amount of notes on the paper he is grading. There was a knock at his
door and it broke his concentration. His hand froze, the tip of the pen hovered
in midair, another knock at the door. He put the pen down, his train of thought
long gone. “Come in.” He said. The door opened and Sanders walked into the
office and sat in his usual chair after shutting the door. “Well this is a
twist on the established pattern.” Banister remarked.
Sanders
nodded silently and sunk into the chair. “I couldn’t wait until after class.”
He explained.
Bannister
gave a concerned look. “Are you ok? What’s wrong?” He asked.
Sanders
shook his head. “I’ve been better, I’m dropping your class.” He admitted.
Bannister
shook his head. “Not this close to finals you’re not.
Sanders
stared at the wall of the desk, avoiding Banisters eye line. “It’s already
done.”
Banister almost
threw his pen. “Why would you do that to yourself?” He shouted.
Sanders
burned holes in the wall of the desk. “Because I should never have signed up
for this class in the first place. I just…I’m sorry. I’ve been a horrible
person and horrible student this semester. It was wrong of me to pry into your
life.” He confessed.
Bannister
set his pen on the desk and sat back in his chair. “You done vilifying yourself?”
He asked sarcastically.
Sanders eyes
left the desk to look in surprise at Bannister. “What?” He asked.
Bannister
sat forward and picked his pen up and tapped it a few times on the essay he was
grading. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions. SO maybe the road to
heaven is paved with bad ones.” He offered.
Sanders
was lost. “What the hell does that mean?” He asked.
Bannister
looked at the photo on his desk. “You may have been a pushy, attitudinal prick
but you helped me more than you know.” He admitted.
Sanders
looked at the photo. “So who’s important enough in your life to be immortalized
on your desk?” He asked, picking up the photo and looking at it.
Bannister
smiled. “It’s a friend of mine from my college days.” Bannister noticed that Sanders
was frozen on the photo. “You sure you’re really ok?” He asked again.
Sanders
broke away from the photo and nodded quickly. “Yeah, Yeah I’m fine.” He
confirmed while still holding the photo. He cleared his throat and looked at it
again. “You know my dad went here too.” Sanders started. Banister nodded. “He
was an Adventure Studies Major. Ended up as a background spectator in a bunch
of fighting games.” Sanders continued.
Bannister
nodded. “That’s good, steady work.” He offered.
Sanders
nodded. “Oh sure. But it’s not what he wanted to do with his life, not, who he
was.” Sanders chose his words carefully. “He was so, happy, the day I got my acceptance
letter from UCH. He pulled this big box of all his old university stuff.” For the
first time Bannister realizes he is listening to Sanders and not the other way
around. He quietly leans forward a little bit. “Sweatshirts and hoodies, all
kinds of sports memorabilia.” Sanders reached out and put the photo back on the
desk, the picture facing Bannister. “Photos.” He said looking at Bannister. Bannister
looked at his photo knowing that the other print of it was in that box. “My
parents got divorced this summer. Dad swears that he never meant to hurt us,
and I’m know that he loves us, but he said that he couldn’t keep lying to
himself. He spent his whole career doing work he hated, he married a woman he
desperately wanted to love but never quite could. His whole life, my, our, whole
life was one giant lie.” Bannister sat back quietly. “That’s when I First found
out about you, the other guy in the photo. Dad’s “friend” from college. For the
rest of the summer it burned inside of me, I didn’t know if I should be hurt,
happy, mad, or sad. So I signed up for your class. Because I had to meet the
man who knew who my father actually was.” Bannister scrunched up his chin for a
second and chose not to speak. “Imagine my surprise when you turned out to be
so bitter and broken that I thought maybe you were the wrong guy.” Bannister
was trying not to cry now. “And so, here I sit. Unreasonably angry at my
father, a man who has been reborn and is living the life he denied himself for
decades, asking my friend and my professor to forgive me for deceiving him and
doing more harm to him than my father could have ever done to me.” Sanders got
up out of the chair and walked over to the door. “That’s why I should never
have taken your class.” He opened the door and walked out of the office. “Good
luck with finals professor.” His voice echoing down the hall as the door closed
behind him.
Bannister
tapped his pen and stared silently at his office door for a long time.
