Lidarion: Chapter 3

For the first few hours Bernard took in everything. Everything he could remember consisted of was little life he had in the capitol of Lidarion, the trip to Border wood keep and the last three years in the home that was his world. Squints had two horses pulling a small covered wagon, which held their things and something large, wrapped in blankets. Bernard wanted to ask about it more than he wanted to ask about the conversation he had overheard the night before, but the beauty of spring had him in its grip and so he pushed aside his concerns to enjoy the sights and sounds of the seasons as they traveled north.

By the afternoon Squints hadn’t said much, mostly giving him the names of flowers, animals, rivers, lakes, hills and far off mountains. They had stopped for lunch in a clearing and had unfortunately scared off some deer, they didn’t run far and stuck to the farthest edge of the clearing eating from a field of beautiful yellow flowers. There was a river a few hundred feet away from the road. Bernard had gone over to fill their water skins but sat for nearly an hour just listening to the river. He had stayed still long enough that the deer chanced coming closer to pick at some small berry bushes. It was peaceful in a way that he had no memory of.

Back on the kart they followed the road which pretty closely followed the river. “My father used to bring me to this river when I was younger. We’d spend summers out here away from civilization.” 

Bernard looked at Squints who continued sharing his memory. “At the time I just wanted to get back to my books, it’s a cruel irony that as an adult I dream of the summers I spent here.”

Bernard had no memory of his childhood or his father. He was both sad for and jealous of Squints. “I think your father may have known he was giving you a gift you wouldn’t know how to appreciate until you were old enough to understand what you had received.”

Squints looked at Bernard with curiosity. “Are you talking about the initial experience or the memory?” He asked.

Bernard shrugged his shoulders. “Aren’t they both just love in different forms?” He asked.

Squints smiled. “That they are.” He confirmed.

The rushing river and the creaking wheels of the wagon filled the silence. They hit a divot in the road and the large object wrapped in blankets shifted in the cart, knocking against the wooden wall of the cart.

“What happened to my memory?” Bernard asked quickly. As if he was worried he might lose his courage half way through the question.

Squints smiled a little. “How much of our conversation did you overhear last night?” He asked.

Bernard looked at a tree as they passed. “My sister is worried about things ‘going back to the way they were before’” He answered in question.

Squints nodded. “Indeed she is.” He confirmed.

Bernard looked at Squints. “How were they before? What is it that I can’t remember and why can’t I remember it?” He pleaded.

Squints sighed heavily. “The simple answers are, not good, a lot, because we made a mistake.”

Bernard shook his head. “I didn’t come on this trip for simple answers Squints.”

Squints nodded. “I know. You want the whole truth.”

Bernard nodded resolutely. “I do.”

Squints stared him down. “Even if it changes everything you know about everyone you love, including yourself?” He asked.

Bernard nodded. “Squints, I don’t actually know much of anything about anyone, especially myself.”

Squints sighed again. “That’s a fair point.” There was silence again for a moment as he considered where exactly to start his narrative. “I guess the most important place to start would be the end of the Machine Wars, six years ago.”

Bernard was instantly lost. “Machine Wars? No one has ever said anything about a war less than a decade ago.”

Squints nodded “Because we made sure you would never hear of it, at least, not until you were ready.”

Bernard looked at the road ahead. “So what does this war have to do with my missing memory?” He asked.

Squints shook his head. “The war has almost nothing to do with your memory loss. The war was how Trent ended up coming home to Lidarion after a long fifteen year absence.”

Bernard did the math in his head. “That’s over half his life.”

Squints nodded. “Generally that’s the point of banishment.” He offered. “How about I start from the Beginning?” He offered.

Bernard nodded. “Please.”